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I write for women who are ready to make big leaps in life. www.arleneambrose.ca
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We think we’ve come so far. We think we’ve evolved, and while we’ve made technological advancements, we’ve only made life more comfortable for ourselves, inadvertently weakening our resilience. We’ve paralyzed our survival instincts, increasing our sensitivity and political correctness.

You might feel hopeless against fear, anxiety, and circumstances out of your control.

You resolve to stay strong, but problems keep piling up.

We are riddled with anxiety and depression from threats that are as accurate to many of us as being held at gunpoint.

You’re at war with your mind and must frequently pull it back to reality. Every broken…


Have you ever fantasized about being a dominatrix? Not only for sexual gratification but power? Maybe you take a longer time to process your feelings. You think about the perfect comeback only after the person is long gone. Perhaps you feel unheard or misunderstood. Maybe you’d just like your boyfriend or husband to pick up his damn clothes off the floor. Maybe you’ve been called too emotional. Or perhaps you’ve been in a situation where you’ve felt uncomfortable or harassed.

When we think of a dominatrix, we think about whips, chains, leather and heels. However, dominatrixes need to understand human…


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They like to believe that people can change for the better. They understand and still empathize when others hurt them. Softhearted people feel the weight of the world in their hearts. They smile, but you notice the sadness in their eyes. Sometimes they become so overwhelmed with unsorted emotions that they isolate themselves from people. They are the type of individuals that say, “I love people, but I hate them. You know?”

The goal of softhearted people is to live in a state of harmony with minimal stress. When they are unable to do this, they become moody, unhappy, and…


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You start off thinking maybe this time will be different. Your feelings caught you off guard, so naturally, this must be love. You read somewhere that this is how it’s supposed to happen. Your emotions consume you, but in the end, you’re left heartbroken.

You keep falling in love with people who don’t love you back. Continuing to pursue these relationships causes you to miss out on connections with people who care about your wellbeing. In the end, the entanglement causes more harm than good. The beauty in this is that at heart, you’re a romantic and are capable of…


You’re attracted to relationships that require fighting. You think you have to do something to receive love. You think you have to overcome a crisis and suffer. These thoughts are struggle-love.

You believe this is how relationships should be because it’s what you’ve always known. No one told you that a person could fall in love with you.

If you don’t get out of this cycle, you’ll miss out on people who genuinely want to treat you well. You’ll realize that you don’t have to please people at the sacrifice of yourself constantly.

You’re looking for real love. You’re a…


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Your anxiety is a warning sign that your mind is trying to protect you from something you think is a threat. It’s usually something you care about but have coded as a source of fear instead of love.

It starts with obsessive thoughts. You’re thinking about the outcome. What if you look silly? What will they think of you? How will you sit in the unease? What if things don’t work out?

You get anxious around a person you like because you care about what they think. You get nervous before writing a test because you care about what a…


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You aren’t supposed to fit in. You have a thousand ideas in your head but can’t seem to choose one — and you’re not sure you want to.

You have various skills. You don’t want to sound like you’re bragging, but you’re pretty good at each of them.

Instead of feeling energized, this gift makes you feel like a failure. You can’t decide which direction to go in life, much less you should eat at a restaurant.

You can’t decide because you want to make the best choice. You want to have numerous experiences. …


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You’re avoiding what you need to do. You’re waiting until the last minute, hoping that something will change. This behavior is procrastination.

Procrastination comes from loving the rush of learning but not the reality of taking steps to get there. You’re afraid to fail. Somewhere in your programming, a loved one told you that you weren’t good enough. Now you’re on a constant quest for perfection. You didn’t leave room for errors and are exhausted before you start.

Continuing down this path keeps you from achieving your dreams, from actualizing. You’ll get better over time, but you need to begin…


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The loss that I’ve endured is overwhelming. I’ve shed tears over my sorrow. I’ve grieved for, with, and about my friends, lovers and family. Sometimes individually. Sometimes at the same time.

Death and defeat have stolen my joy. They never gave me a chance to recover before striking again. Sometimes you don’t realize that even the most minor casualties require grieving. Loss of independence, loss of a dream, idea, or what you thought your life should have been — all of this counts.

This year has shifted my focus from happiness to anxiety. …


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Keeping an open heart puts you in a vulnerable position. However, it’s the only way to love fully. An open heart is receptive, expansive, and forgiving. It means resisting the urge to build up your walls, resent, and turn to bitterness. It has nothing to do with the other person. It’s about keeping your peace and living your most fulfilled life.

Keeping an open heart after you’ve been hurt is all about letting go, time, and receiving once again.

Now, I’m not saying to tell everyone your business or go around maintaining relationships that don’t serve you. I’m saying you…

Arlene Ambrose

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