7 Things You Have Permission To Be Impolite About.
Asking For Personal Space
If someone doesn’t get the hint from the multiple times you’ve stepped back from them. It’s ok to tell them that they are standing too close.
Not Answering Your Door
I used to think that if someone knocked on my door that I had to answer, partly because they could hear that I was home.
If you’re not expecting guests, if you don’t know who’s at the door, then you’re not obligated to answer. Even if they’ve heard you, even if they’ve seen your foot shadow, even if they call out your name, even if they say they know your boyfriend, husband or parents, heck- even if you do know them. If you feel uneasy or unsafe then you don’t need to answer.
Asking Someone Their Identity
Just because someone claims to be in a position of authority doesn’t mean that it’s true. If a police officer approaches you for no apparent reason, it’s OK to ask for their name and badge number.
Doctors and other health professionals at work who haven’t introduced themselves come up to me frequently, asking questions and making requests.
It’s OK to say, “who are you? And why do you need that information?” It’s OK to stop someone who looks out of place in your workplace, ask for their identity and question if they need assistance.
Calling Out Inappropriate Behaviour
Some people may feel that it’s OK to make sexual derogatory comments towards you. Call them out loud and clear. Don’t give them the chance to whisperer be sly about it.
“What’s that? You want to grope my breasts?”
Some people may feel that it’s within their right to disrespect, shame or bully you.You can counteract this with comments such as,“can you repeat that so I can record it?”or “wait, let me document this in writing.”
Feeling Uncomfortable But Having No Idea Why
Trust your intuition.
Certain people and situations give you a sense of unease that you can’t necessarily explain. Maybe it’s getting late, you start feeling uncomfortable and think, “maybe I should head home,” but your date is not ready to leave.
Then you leave; and leave them there. Don’t be afraid of appearing rude. Insist. How many lives could have been saved by people insisting when they felt that something was wrong.
Not Answering Personal Questions
Not everyone is aware of social cues. Virtual strangers, in an attempt to get to know you, may ask personal or even slightly improper questions.
It’s OK to decline to answer, in the vain of, “that’s a personal question for me”.
“I don’t want to talk about that right now”.
“That’s something reserved for more intimate friends”.
“That’s not something I discuss”.
It’s OK to build trust overtime. You don’t have to divulge every tantalizing detail about yourself.
Saying No To Something You’ve Already Done Before.
Don’t let anyone guilt trip you.
Just because you gave them permission to do something before doesn’t mean that you have to continue to do it now.
It’s OK to say No. Even if it’s what you’re known for, even if you’ve done it before, even if everyone expects it. You’re allowed to change your mind.
Being polite is a way to extend common courtesy.
Being polite won’t save your life. Being polite doesn’t always get your point across. Being polite doesn’t mean that people will respect you. Being polite doesn’t mean people like you. Being polite doesn’t mean you’re good and not being polite doesn’t mean that you’re bad.
Some things just need to be said.