Struggle-love is being with a partner that doesn’t know if they want you.
You’re attracted to relationships that require fighting. You think you have to do something to receive love. You think you have to overcome a crisis and suffer. These thoughts are struggle-love.
You believe this is how relationships should be because it’s what you’ve always known. No one told you that a person could fall in love with you.
If you don’t get out of this cycle, you’ll miss out on people who genuinely want to treat you well. You’ll realize that you don’t have to please people at the sacrifice of yourself constantly.
You’re looking for real love. You’re a…
“Anxiety is not a disease. It’s a signal.” — Dr. Caroline Leaf
Your anxiety is a warning sign that your mind is trying to protect you from something you think is a threat. It’s usually something you care about but have coded as a source of fear instead of love.
It starts with obsessive thoughts. You’re thinking about the outcome. What if you look silly? What will they think of you? How will you sit in the unease? What if things don’t work out?
You get anxious around a person you like because you care about what they think. You get nervous before writing a test because you care about what a…
You have many interests and creative pursuits.
You aren’t supposed to fit in. You have a thousand ideas in your head but can’t seem to choose one — and you’re not sure you want to.
You have various skills. You don’t want to sound like you’re bragging, but you’re pretty good at each of them.
Instead of feeling energized, this gift makes you feel like a failure. You can’t decide which direction to go in life, much less you should eat at a restaurant.
You can’t decide because you want to make the best choice. You want to have numerous experiences. …
You start with small steps
You’re avoiding what you need to do. You’re waiting until the last minute, hoping that something will change. This behavior is procrastination.
Procrastination comes from loving the rush of learning but not the reality of taking steps to get there. You’re afraid to fail. Somewhere in your programming, a loved one told you that you weren’t good enough. Now you’re on a constant quest for perfection. You didn’t leave room for errors and are exhausted before you start.
Continuing down this path keeps you from achieving your dreams, from actualizing. You’ll get better over time, but you need to begin…
On recreating your mindset
The loss that I’ve endured is overwhelming. I’ve shed tears over my sorrow. I’ve grieved for, with, and about my friends, lovers and family. Sometimes individually. Sometimes at the same time.
Death and defeat have stolen my joy. They never gave me a chance to recover before striking again. Sometimes you don’t realize that even the most minor casualties require grieving. Loss of independence, loss of a dream, idea, or what you thought your life should have been — all of this counts.
This year has shifted my focus from happiness to anxiety. …
The openness of our hearts determines the quality of our lives.
Keeping an open heart puts you in a vulnerable position. However, it’s the only way to love fully. An open heart is receptive, expansive, and forgiving. It means resisting the urge to build up your walls, resent, and turn to bitterness. It has nothing to do with the other person. It’s about keeping your peace and living your most fulfilled life.
Keeping an open heart after you’ve been hurt is all about letting go, time, and receiving once again.
Now, I’m not saying to tell everyone your business or go around maintaining relationships that don’t serve you. I’m saying you…
People can have the same skill as you, but they can never do it the same way as you.
This is your reminder that everyone has their own path in life. You’re comparing yourself to people who have a completely different life than yours. Sure, you have some idea of successful habits — consistency, hard work, sacrifice — but there’s more.
There’s your personal blueprint. You are the only example of what it’s like to be you. Maybe it’s your style, personality, attention to detail, or voice. You have a mind that no one else will fully understand. Only you can bring certain things into creation. That’s why comparing yourself to anybody else is a waste of time.
Stagnation happens when you don’t have anything in life that motivates you enough to take sustained steps towards it.
You feel exhausted when you take on too many things that don’t come naturally.
We all need a certain amount of challenge in life for growth, but this shouldn’t be the bulk of what life is made of.
A stressful lifestyle leaves you empty, passionless, and without coping mechanisms.
Stress is whatever you say it is. It’s whatever causes you mental or emotional disruption. Too many times, we’re invalidated because our stressors are seen as insignificant. It doesn’t matter where the source of stress comes from; the effect is the same. You suffer.
Love is not just a fall, it’s deliberate.
Stop before you fall in love. Wait, pray, take your time. After that, it’s almost too late for reason.
I was miffed, shooketh, bewildered by this advice. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard it, but it was the first time I’d heard it. It meant there was an element of falling in love that I could direct.
As someone who loves love, who daydreams of someone safe and admirable coming to whisk me away, my head is often in la-la land. What else is there but love in the end?
But today, was one of those days that we…
Your perspective, outlook, expectations, and boundaries changed.
You think that your life miraculously got better, but the truth is, life runs on monotonous cycles offering the good with the bad to everyone.
Our environment affects how much good we’re able to see or pull out of life.
Your life didn’t suddenly get better, you did.
Your perspective, outlook, expectations, and boundaries changed.
Before you saw limited options, now you create opportunity.
You’ve taken time to discover yourself, in part voluntarily, and in part through forced life experiences.
The job you hated 10 years ago is a piece of cake compared to what you’re doing now.
The relationship…
