The Differences Between People Who Pretend They Don’t Care Vs. People Who Actually Don’t Care

It’s not about pretending. It’s about actually believing

Have you ever met anyone that just seemed to have a low threshold for nonsense? They rarely allow anything or anyone to bother them.

There is a difference between people who pretend they don’t care verses people who actually don’t care- and that is knowing their self worth.

We’ve all had that moment where we’ve made the declaration of not caring anymore.

Perhaps it’s that split second when you think someone is waving at you, only to realize that you don’t know them, and they’re actually greeting the woman behind you. You feel a little embarrassed but shrug, “whatever I don’t care.”

Maybe it’s that date that left your message on read, ghosted you, and prompted you to get out of bed for nothing. You feel a little wounded but throw your hands up saying, “I didn’t care anyway”.

The truth is, that it’s ok to feel hurt, upset or whatever uncomfortable emotions emerge when someone has wronged you. The key is not to dwell on these emotions or allow them foster resentment within your being.

1. The person who pretends they don’t care is going ignore their hurt feelings and vulnerability.

The person who actually doesn’t care is going to acknowledge and embrace their feelings.

2. The person who pretends they don’t care is going to drag your name and business through the streets.

The person who actually doesn’t care is not going to spend hours gossiping over you.

3. The person who pretends they don’t care is going to answer the phone call because they want to hear the explanation.

The person who actually doesn’t care isn’t going to answer the call- they may call back if it’s convenient for them.

4.The person who pretends they don’t care is going to nag,complain and whine.

The person who actually doesn’t care are going to let their actions speak for themselves by distancing themselves from you.

5. The person who pretends they don’t care is going to make excuses for unwanted behaviour.

The person that actually doesn’t care believes that we are all accountable for our own behaviour.

6.The person who pretends they don’t care is going to teach you how you can do better.

The person who actually doesn’t care is continually working on self improvement… and isn’t going to spend all their time trying to fix you.

7.The person who pretends they don’t care is going to be bitter and resentful.

The person who actually doesn’t care is going to be thankful that they saw your true colours.

8.The person who pretends they don’t care is going to negotiate with you.

The person who actually doesn’t care adapts a zero tolerance mentality to disrespect.

9.The person who pretends they don’t care is going to secretly stalk you on social media.

The person who actually doesn’t care is going to block you on social media if you disregard their boundaries.

If you are someone that finds yourself struggling with closure, or having people continually cross your boundaries, some of these paradigm shifts may seem a foreign; even a little heartless to you.

In reality not actually caring has nothing to do with being cruel or unsympathetic towards people and everything to do with stating your boundaries, sticking to them and loving yourself enough to walk away if necissary.

It doesn’t happen overnight. It doesn’t mean that you don’t feel hurt, betrayal, or loss.

What it does mean is that in spite of your feelings-you know your self worth and what you deserve.

Feelings are temporary, you can work on them, but dignity is priceless.

So next time someone wrongs you, ask yourself, “ am I pretending that I don’t care…or am I going to work on actually not caring?”

I write for women in recovery, empaths, visionaries and lovers of love. The truth is never easy, but it’s the only path to healing. contact@arleneambrose.ca

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